Stillness is not something we’re used to and when we don’t do anything we feel anxious or if we indulge in doing something that makes us happy we feel guilty.
Silence is challenging because our brains are going a mile a minute making to do lists, processing, analyzing things from the past or about the future.
Solitude is uncomfortable—we don’t like spending countless hours alone because we feel lonely and isolated.
Many of us are busy being busy—filling up our schedules with things to do, people to see and places to go. We also distract ourselves with our smartphones, the Internet, mindlessly watching television, gossiping, complaining, and creating drama and problems.
What we’re really doing is overcompensating to avoid our fears of abandonment, not good enough, unlovable, failure, etc.
We were taught from a young age especially women that we had to do, give, nurture everyone else first.
Not only did we disconnect from our needs-wants-desires because we’re so in tuned with everyone else, we’ve become dependent on someone or something to make us feel a certain way.
This keeps us stuck in a vicious cycle of overdoing, over giving to ensure that we get our needs met.
Its very exhausting living this way and when we don’t get our needs met we feel lost.
But we don’t need someone or something to make us feel worthy, loved or successful!
We give ourselves love and value when we acknowledge without guilt that we cannot do it all and be all to everyone and everything.
We’re human beings not human doings!
By being in stillness-silence-solitude on a daily basis we reconnect to our intuition.
Getting comfortable with the 3 S’s
In the evening, spend some time alone to mediate in the form of reading a book, taking a warm bath surrounded with candles or whatever way that you choose and be in complete silence.
No music, radio or television sounds in the background.
Use a timer if you need to and just be in complete silence to listen, really listen to your thoughts. Be conscious of your breathing and how you feel—uncomfortable, aches, negative, peaceful, happy etc.
At the end of your half hour, record whatever you discover in your journal.
Being in stillness-silence-solitude might be challenging at first, but meditation opens you up to discovering the answers that are within you and it helps you listen to your inner voice.
The more you follow your guidance, the less you’ll be influenced by others opinions because you’ll trust yourself.
Making your self-care a priorit is not selfish, it’s an act of SELF-love—nurturing is a gift you give yourself.
When you find a balance between selfishness and selflessness it’s a win-win. Not only will you have more energy and confidence, you’ll be more present to others authentically.
Go ahead and spent quality time with the most important person: YOU!