A young girl about the age of 11 or 12 approached me recently as I was walking on the bike path. She smiled at me then she asked if I wanted to buy a bracelet.
I followed her to her makeshift stand on a bench where another young girl greeted me. I noticed bracelets made of colourful elastic on display labelled with the price.
After I purchased a bracelet for $1.00 I wished them luck in their entrepreneurial endeavours and thought these 2 young girls are already paving their own path.
I felt inspired and reflected on how it takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there not only in business but also in personal ventures.
When we were young we were filled with hopes and dreams—we didn't worry or even think about the details of how we were going to achieve our dreams.
What stops us from following our dreams?
What are we really afraid of?
We’re afraid of all of the reasons why what it is we truly desire won’t come true so we find reasons not to listen to what’s in our heart. We prefer to play small, hide and remain with the status quo.
We become comfortable with the discomfort because it’s familiar and even though we say that we want an amazing career, relationship etc., we don’t want to take responsibility.
Who would we blame if we make a mistake?
The EGO is afraid of our power because we’re going against the “norm” and the well-known path, which is the perceived safe route.
When we listen to the EGO we unwittingly give our power away by acting like a victim or a martyr. These personas protect us from getting hurt and disappointed.
But it’s not who we are!
For most of my life I was swinging like a pendulum from acting like a victim to a martyr. When I acted like a victim I created drama and thrived on problems. When I acted like a martyr I overcompensated to the point that I became emotionally depleted.
This kept me stuck in my story and distracted from shining light on my pain, which only kept me disempowered and unable to move forward.
Emotional age profile
We all have this trio inside of us—the Adult (Spirit), the Child and the Parent (EGO). When we’re acting like an Adult we’re willing, we’re courageous and we listen to our intuition.
But when we’re acting like a Child we feel like a victim and when we’re acting like a Parent we feel like a martyr. For many of us the EGO persona is in charge of our lives the majority of the time.
This creates an imbalance in our health-wealth-relationships because the EGO who is actually a wounded version of you is always searching for ways to find it’s worth.
But as I remind my clients, “You alone are enough!”
The goal is to reclaim your power and have the Adult who is the “Real You” run your life.
How to become whole
It’s not about being perfect, it’s about becoming whole and that means integrating that wounded self by giving her/him a voice.
A coaching technique I guide my clients through is to dialogue between the “Wounded You” and the “Real You.” The purpose of this exercise is to give the “Wounded You” a voice to express their anger, fears, guilt etc., and to get those stories out.
When we deny the wounded self the right to feel what she/he feels by numbing our emotions via food, sex, television, the Internet, exercise or whatever escape mechanism we choose, we fall off track.
Imagine being able to manage your emotions, dropping your excuses and walking yourself through your fears, core limiting beliefs and old patterns that keep you locked in on a certain level.
Imagine being able to set healthy boundaries without feeling guilty.
Imagine being able to say no instead of yes to please others.
By dialoguing with the Wounded self your imagination can become a reality!
Though I spent years in therapy and I knew that I was intelligent, I couldn’t put it all together emotionally until I applied this technique. Then everything made sense.
As the fears came to the surface, I gave my wounded self a voice and stopped living life in my head—thinking and analyzing. I began to live life by taking action! I became powerful because my real self gradually took over.
If you’d like to learn more about the emotional age profile, then an empowerment coaching session with me can provide you with the guidance and support you need to move forward one step at a time.