Have you heard of the neutral zone?
It’s the middle stage in a transition.
It’s the uncomfortable lull in which you can’t go back, nor can you move forward. Metaphorically it’s a period of gestation that precedes a re-birth.
Transitions and changes are not the same.
A transition is about crossing over from something old and familiar into something new. They happen on the inside of a person and is reflected on the outside.
Transitions change the person at their core because their values and their identities change.
Meaning, you’ve let go of your EGO identity that was limiting you to what you believed made you valuable—the car, the house, the relationship, the career, the money etc.
Whereas, changes happen on the surface and don’t usually involve a lot of emotional and psychological shifts.
Transitions are an opportunity for you to grow!
This is what your soul yearns, to expand and grow and she will come knocking to get your attention, usually in the form of loss, to wake you up!
But your EGO will keep you chasing, rushing for the next thing and never stopping to breathe and ask yourself:
What do I want?
What do I really want?
What would make me happy?
The neutral zone is the perfect opportunity to get clear on your hearts’ desires—to dream, to imagine, to check in with your soul, and to do things that bring you joy.
I understand that we live in a fast paced world and it so easy to get caught up in the busyness of our lives. We don’t want to miss out on anything—the social media posts, the social gatherings and whatever else your EGO believes is more important.
But you’re important.
Your dreams matter.
The EGO’s job is to keep you safe because she is comfortable with the familiar and she will want you to move on as quickly as possible.
We don’t sit in our grief—in the neutral zone, because we can’t control how long it will take and instead of moving forward, we return to the same type of job, relationship or residence out of fear. And so, the cycle of repeated patterns continues.
Get comfortable in the neutral zone with these 3 tips:
1. Express yourself creatively
Spend at least 30 minutes, 3 times a week doing something creative such as writing, drawing, painting, singing, dancing etc. Whatever brings you joy! Schedule it in your smartphone and set a reminder.
By doing something creative, you’re connecting with your soul, where you focus on solutions, access your inner wisdom and intuition. You shift from being in your head, where the EGO focuses on problems and fears.
In David Richo’s book: How to Be An Adult in Relationships, he writes that when we create, it often soothes us because we connect with our soul—the feminine source of nurturance that exists within each of us.
2. Be receptive exercise
Sit in solitude for a minimum of 30 minutes—no music and tune into your thoughts. Light a candle if you wish and use the timer on your smartphone to sit and really listen to your thoughts.
Record any recurring thoughts, patterns or insights.
A bonus tip:
4. Connect with Mother Earth
Go for a walk for a minimum of 20 minutes—no music and tune into your thoughts.
When we slow down and take that time in the neutral zone to regroup, we connect more deeply to our soul’s calling and we allow the unfolding of a life that is more fulfilling and purposeful.
In my experience, when I was in the neutral zone, I learned that I had made everyone and everything a priority. I honestly believed that I was “helping” them, but I realized that I was not! I was avoiding being with myself because I was afraid to make changes in my life, the unknown is scary and so my EGO had found many ways to distract me.
Maybe, you are you used to being there for others.
And you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired!
Making yourself a priority is not selfish, it’s an act of self-love. You’re giving the EGO what she most needs and that is: love.
If you’re feeling tired and frustrated that you are not where you thought you’d be in life. Sign up for my free 7 Days To Joy Challenge here.
Now, it’s time for you.
This weeks Mana card
Ho’oponopono (To set right)
The message is to restore balance through honest dialogue and forgiveness. This could be with another person(s) or with yourself. If a relationship seems out of balance or the harmony of your life feels disrupted, you may want to recite the Hawaiian forgiveness prayer or other forgiveness ritual.
I did a radio show episode called Forgiveness Sets You Free! I talk about the Hawaiian forgiveness prayer in detail and why it’s important to forgive others. I did a guided meditation to forgive the one person we often overlook, ourselves.
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself, so that you can move on and experience joy.