We expect people to tell us the truth and when they lie to us we become upset and are quick to judge them.
But how many times do we lie to ourselves by making excuses or justifying all of the reasons the way things are?
- The guy you’re dating is not exactly what you’re looking for, but he’s a nice guy and good looking. Maybe you’ll give him a chance.
- The long-standing relationship, partnership or marriage is unfulfilling and you’re living like roommates. But if you leave, you’ll be alone, plus starting over and meeting someone new is hard.
- Your mother speaking to you negatively is bringing you down, but she’s your mother and if you tell her that you don’t want to listen to her, she’ll get upset and say that you’re disrespecting her.
- Your boss watches your every move, but doesn’t do this with your colleagues. If you stand up for yourself, your boss will think that you’re overstepping their authority.
If you had a friend who spoke to you with one of the above issues, wouldn’t you give them some helpful advice?
- Settling for the guy who is nice and good looking is not being true to yourself.
- Staying in a relationship because it’s comfortable only leads to unhappiness.
- Listening to your mother is draining your energy.
- Tip toing around your boss in order to maintain peace is actually passive.
The countless excuses and justifications we’ve conjured up in our mind become our reality, so it’s no wonder we believe them!
What if we told ourselves the truth and listened to the inner guidance that whispers: I have a voice and what I have to say is necessary.
Wouldn’t our reality be different?
If we became active participants in our lives—honoring, loving and valuing ourselves enough to speak our truth, which is not always going to be someone else’s truth.
But sometimes we have to make tough choices—say no and/or set a boundary. Though it is not easy, it is our right! We’re responsible for our happiness.
Yet, we ignore our inner guidance and expect others to change their approach—the way they treat us and/or talk to us.
Though I coach women to speak up because no one else will on their behalf. I caught myself expecting my boyfriend to change.
After I had taken a break to heal from a repeated pattern I recreated in our relationship. I wrote about this in my blog post You Can Run, But You Cannot Hide.
In my gut I knew that things were different between us when I spoke to him and instead of listening to my inner guidance to move on, I listened to my fears—I don’t want to be alone; I’m not adding yet another failed relationship.
So I lied to myself, determined to make this relationship work based on my fears. However, the Universe stepped in and within a blink of an eye, my boyfriend ended the short-lived relationship.
I had no doubt that all was working exactly as it should, just not the way I “thought.” Once again I was reminded that I needed to honor my truth and to value myself and most importantly, to love myself enough to stop settling.
As you evolve into the greatest expression of you, there is no way, no how that your life is going to stay the same! And the people-places-things that are meant to stay in your life will.
It’s learning to surrender a specific outcome and trusting that the Universe has your back.
Where in your life is your inner guidance whispering the truth, but you’re ignoring it?